I usually like the D/s theme a lot. This was just OK. The concept was strong, it could have just been written a bit better. A compound sentence would solve the need to avoid the constant "the submissive said this" the "older man" said that, the "submissive....." : A compound sentence is composed of at least two independent clauses. It does not require a dependent clause. The clauses are joined by a coordinating conjunction (with or without a comma), a correlative conjunction (with or without a comma), a semicolon that functions as a conjunction, or a conjunctive adverb preceded by a semicolon.
It just makes for smoother reading. Details about the environment of the house would be important because this is so much of the story setting. Could have been super strong...but fell short.
What I did like however is how the society in which these characters lived did not "normally" allow the swan to be himself, but live up instead to their stereotypes. Good parallel to reality.